Bloody Family
by Eediva
Summary: Summary: Joss’ younger sister comes to the station, and tells his workmates some funny stories about Joss. Set after the episode where Joss is told to get a life and learn to cook. Oneshot


Summary: Joss' younger sister comes to the station, and tells his workmates some funny stories about Joss. Set after the episode where Joss is told to get a life and learn to cook.

_Payback…_

Kelly O'Rourke looked up. An annoying ring-tone caught her attention. A black mobile phone sat on her partner's desk vibrating and beeping an extremely annoying song.

"What the hell is that noise?" Evan Jones snapped from his desk. "Whose phone is that?"

"It's Joss'," Kelly muttered. "Where is he?'

"On a toilet break," PJ said.

"He has been in there for almost ten minutes," Amy pointed out.

"He probably has diarrhoea," Kelly muttered. Laughter erupted from the station. Everyone stopped once Tom Croyden walked in.

"Will some one answer that?" He snapped. Kelly nodded and reached over to the phone. She turned it on and held it against her ear.

"Hey Jossikins," a female said.

"I'm not Jossikins," Kelly said, "Who's speaking?"

"Josie, his sister," the voice said, not sounding to pleased, "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Kelly,"

"Okay then just get me Joss," the girl said, "Chop, chop."

"He is actually unavailable right now," Kelly said, raising a brow, "But when he gets back I can tell him to call you."

"Un-bloody-believable," Josie muttered, "He complains for years he needs a phone, yet when he gets one he doesn't fucking use it."

"Okay so will you call him or should he call you," Kelly laughed.

"Just tell the stupid moron that I'm gonna see him tomorrow at his station work-place thingy," Josie said. "And tell him to use his damn phone properly, fucking idiot."

The girl hung up, Kelly burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Tom asked.

"That was Joss' sister," Kelly laughed, "She just swore her head of about Joss, called him an effing idiot."

"I like her," Tom said simply before entering his office. Joss finally entered the room. Everyone was staring at him.

"What?" He asked.

"So you complained for years for a phone," Kelly grinned waving his phone around, "Yet you don't use it."

"What are you talking about?" Joss asked taking his phone from the blonde. He hugged it like a father and glared at Kelly.

"Your sister, Josie called," Kelly said. Joss mouth dropped.

"What?" He asked in shock. "Why, she never calls me!"

"Well she did," Kelly said, "She said she'll be seeing tomorrow at your 'station work-place thingy.'"

"Wait, she's coming here?" Joss asked. Kelly nodded. "Oh crap!"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Its Josie," Joss pointed out, "She wants something, or worse she wants to do something to me, I gotta get out of town"

"Aren't you being a little paranoid," PJ asked.

"No," Joss said biting at his nails, "This is Josie; she is the daughter of the devil."

"Wouldn't that mean you're the son of the devil?" Amy asked.

"No," Joss snapped, he added sheepishly; "I an angel."

"Sure you are," Kelly laughed.

"Serious, didn't she sound a little rude to you?" Joss asked. Kelly thought for a second. "How many times did she swear?"

"Quite a few times," Kelly said.

"See," Joss said. "I gotta leave town, maybe even the country."

"Joss, what on earth are you going on about," Tom asked walking out of his office.

"His sister is coming here tomorrow," Kelly said.

"Joss this isn't a place for you and your family to meet," Tom snapped.

"Hey I don't want her to come," Joss said, "Can I take a day off tomorrow?"

"No," Tom snapped.

"Alright, calm down," Joss said holding his hands up in defence. "Guess she'll be coming right here tomorrow."

"Great that's all we need," Tom sighed, "Another Peroni."

"Actually, I'd advise not calling me, 'you idiot Peroni' while she is around," Joss said.

"I guess we'll call you, 'you ass Peroni'," Kelly smirked. Amy and Susie both smiled.

"No, don't add Peroni," Joss snapped, "She won't know if you're talking about me or her."

"Does it take a genius to figure out we mean you," Tom muttered, "Bloody idiot."

With that the boss entered his room slamming the door. Joss rolled his eyes.

"Joss a quick question," PJ asked. Joss looked over. "Is she as annoying as you?"

"I'm not annoying," Joss snapped.

"Sure you're not," Kelly laughed. "Actually PJ, Josie sounded pretty cool."

"See, just like me, just like her older brother," Joss smirked, he added proudly, "Her favourite brother."

"Wait, if you're her favourite brother, why are you so worried about her coming tomorrow?" Evan asked.

"This is Josie, she doesn't call me, ever," Joss said, "She wants something, or is trying to get payback. Probably cause I put salt in her tea instead of sugar."

The group laughed. Joss shuddered at sat at his desk; he went back to his paper work.

The next day.

"Joss, will you sit down!" Kelly snapped. Joss Peroni had been pacing the station making Kelly dizzy.

"Sorry," He muttered sitting down in his seat. He was silent for a minute before crying out, "I'm gonna die!"

"JOSS!" Tom barked from his office, "Shut up! Otherwise you'll be dead before she gets here!"  
"Sorry," Joss said sheepishly. A bell rung. Joss sat up so fast he almost fell over. "I'll get it!"

He ran to the security door and opened it, Kelly followed him in, and saw a teenager, only eighteen staring at them. She looked almost exactly like Joss.

She was wearing a light pink shirt, which had Everlast written on it, and black ADIDAS pants with three pink stripes running down the sides, and Nike Sport shoes. She also had a small black and red bag, sunglasses and a round black hat covering all of her hair.

"Hey Josie," Joss smiled. "How are you?"

"Yeah, fine," Josie muttered, pulling her glasses off she placed them in her bag, and looked up and Joss. Kelly raised a brow. She had the greenest eyes she'd ever seen. _They must be contacts._

"You must be Josie?" Kelly asked.

"And you're the chick who answered the phone," Josie said, "Lemme guess, Kelly right."

"Yeah," Kelly smiled. Josie leaned against the bench, and stared at her brother, expectantly.

"Yeah, you wanna come in?" Joss asked, like he was speaking to a stranger. Josie nodded like she was communicating with a two year old. Joss opened the door and waited for his sister to enter. "I'll introduce you to everyone now."

"Good idea," Josie muttered pulling her hat off. Kelly flinched, a part of Josie's hair was pink, and some parts purple, but most was brown like Joss' hair. Joss grinned as Josie glared at him. She shoved the hat into her bag as well. She ran a hand through her long mutli coloured hair as the entered the station. All the police stopped and looked over to the girl. She gave everyone a look over. "So who the hell is who?"

"Um, okay," Joss said, he pointed at Kelly, "That's-"

"Kelly, saw her two seconds ago," Josie snapped, "Bloody moron."

"Okay keep your head on," Joss snapped back, he pointed at each person "That's Amy, PJ, Evan, Susie, Alex, hey where's sergeant Jacobs?"

"Right here," Jacobs said, walking towards Josie, with an apple in one hand, and the other extended out as a welcome. Josie merely stared at the hand. Jacobs pulled his hand down and stared at Joss.

"She doesn't like people touching her," Joss explained, Josie nodded and looked around.

"This is a police station?" She asked, Joss nodded. "It looks like a dump."

"Hey I work here!" Joss snapped.

"Well that explains everything," Josie muttered, she continued looking around. "Where's Tim?"

"Tom," Joss said. "In his office."

Josie walked of down to the room were Joss just pointed. "Hey were the hell are you going?"

"Where does it look like I'm going?" Josie snapped. Joss ran over and grabbed his sister by the arm; she looked down to his hand.

"You can't go in there!" Joss snapped.

"I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to let me go," Josie warned. "One. Two. Three."

"No, I am not going to let you in there," Joss said, pulling his sister away from the door. Tom stood up and watched as Josie suddenly twisted her arm in such away and tripped Joss to the ground. Tom walked out smirking.

"I told you I liked her," Tom smiled; he held his hand out in a welcoming pose. Josie looked up at him and raised a brow. Her hand moved forward and she shook Tom's. Jacobs raised a brow and took a bite of his apple.

"So how old are you exactly?" Jacobs asked biting into his pear.

"Eighteen," Josie said as she pulled out a packet of skittles from her bag. "Any one wants some?"

"Yeap," Joss said snatching the packet from his sister, he poured a handful and then passed it to Evan. "So what are you doing here?"

"Nothing, I've finished school, got no job yet, waiting for uni, and I'm bored," Josie said, "I had a chose, go with Antonio to the jewellers, or take Michael to school."

"Was last year your final year?" Kelly asked Josie nodded.

"Wait are you saying you'd rather come to a police station then school or a shop?" Joss asked.

"Yeah, Tony is too annoying, and Michael is just dropping him off at school," Josie said.

"Wait you drove down here?" Joss asked. Josie nodded. "Thank God I walked down today."

"Who said anything about pedestrians being safe?" Josie smirked. Joss smiled.

"So what did you get for your UAI, and the HSC?" Joss asked

"Better then you and Tony," Josie said.

"Better then Tony aye," Joss smirked. "He must be pissed."

"Of course he is, it was bad enough you whooped his ass," Josie laughed, "But this time it was a girl! Oh my God!"

Joss burst out laughing, "Smart ass."

"Thank you," Josie smirked.

"So you have an older brother, and a younger sister and brother?" Kelly asked, smiling at Joss.

"Yeah," Joss said, "She is my favourite."

"No surprise there," Josie smirked.

"Tell me about it," Joss said, his co-workers stared at him. "You want some juice on my brothers' right?"

"Yeah," Kelly said.

"Alright, Michael is a spoilt brat, gets anything he wants cause he is the youngest," Joss said.

"How old is he?" Susie asked.

"Ten," Joss said, "Antonio is twenty-seven."

"He thinks he rules the house," Josie smirked. "It's a little hard to tell who's the baby of the house, out of him and Michael. Actually that reminds me of something."

She suddenly punched Joss hard across the shoulder. He grabbed his arm in pain and mouthed an ouch. "What was that for?"

"For the salt in the tea," Josie snapped. "You think I'd forget!"

"Did you have to hit me that hard," Joss whined. Kelly snorted, but stopped when she found Josie glaring at her.

"So tell us more about Joss," Jacobs asked. Josie looked at Joss evilly.

"I should tell about the time he dropped the toilet seat on his-"

"Hey!" Joss cried covering his sister's mouth. Kelly burst out laughing.

"Is that why you took so long in the toilet?" Evan asked, snorting. Josie smirked when Joss went bright red.

"Or when he got chicken pox," Josie said, pushing Joss away from her, "He thought he was turning into an alien. Or the time when he broke Antonio's toy giraffe, that was funny."

"Why what happened?" Kelly laughed.

"Well Tony burst into tears cause his giraffe was missing its neck and head," Josie beamed, "Joss got into deep shit with dad. He got grounded for a month!"

"You poor thing," Kelly smirked at Joss, who was hiding under his jacket.

"Or the time when he fell from the roof of our Nona's house, he broke his arm," Josie laughed, "Or when he thought he was the Flash, actually that's not funny that was annoying, he'd always try to snatch things of you and run off, at his top speed which wasn't that fast. He used to have the Flash costume."

"Shut up," Joss moaned.

"Next time I'll bring a picture of him in red and yellow spandex," Josie smirked, the group laughed hard as Joss still tried to disappear. "One time, after me and Antonio jumped of my parents cupboard to their bed, he tried it as well, but he got too scared to jump and then got into trouble when our parents came back home!"

They all burst out once more. Evan ran to the bathroom holding his crotch as he burst into tears of laughter. Josie stood up and grabbed her bag. She pulled her hat and glasses out and wore it making sure her multi-covered hair was covered.

"I like your hair," Kelly smiled, Josie glared at her and then at Joss. "Or not."

"I've got to go," Josie said, she looked down at Joss once more, "By the way, now we are even. You wreck my hair, I embarrass in front of people who are meant to respect you."

"You little shit!" Joss snapped. "How is that even? I made you look pretty, even Kelly thinks its cool. Yet you don't like it!"

"Come to think of it though," Josie said ignoring Joss who was still rambling, "I don't think your colleagues respect you any way. Tootle-loo."

With that she walked off. Joss's mouth dropped as everyone fell to the ground laughing.

"Bye _Jossikins_!" Josie said loudly, as she walked out of the station.

"J-J-Jossikins?" PJ asked, stuttering from laughter.

"My mum calls me it," Joss said sharply, glaring at the door his sister just exited from.

"Oh yeah, that's the first thing I heard when I answered the phone," Kelly laughed.

"Shut up," Joss sighed burying his head into his lap. He was never gonna hear the end of this.

The EnD!

That was my first blue heeler's story! Yay!

Danny Raco is a hotty!

_ Peace and Chicken Grease _

**Afro**

_Now Review!_


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